Day 06

Day 06 - Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

A short while back, I did something similar on my Facebook with 10 facts about myself. If you happened to see that post, I apologize in advance because I might repeat a couple "Aylin-need-to-knows"!

1. Poppies are my favorite flowers. 

2. I drink tea every single day. 

3. My first game console was a Playstation. 

4. Subsequently, my first video game was Final Fantasy VII. I was 8 years old. 

5. I like collecting coffee mugs, vases, decorative plates, and other random home goods. 

6. I wear a Star Wars t-shirt at least once a week. 

7. My biggest adventure was being shipped to Australia. I was told I'd be leaving on a Sunday, and by the Thursday that followed, I had a one way ticket to Sydney. 

8. I have an irrational fear of riding down escalators. 

9. But, I also really love roller coasters, bungee jumping, and para-sailing.

10. Despite not looking it, I'm Irish AND Filipino. 

11. I fall asleep during movies I've already seen really easily. 

12. The only food I know I dislike is olives. 

13. Cooking is relaxing to me. 

14. I dislocated my jaw after getting tackled in football for the first time. 

15. I've swam with sharks, dolphins and sea turtles (among many other types of fish). 

16. One year, I read over 200 books. 

17. Guilty Crown is my favorite anime. Sword Art Online is a close second. 

18. I've taken a lot of wisdom from the characters in my favorite video games and anime. 

19. I have boba at least three times a week. 

20. No matter how hard I try, I can't resist raspberry macaroons. 

21. I've taken a selfie with a kangaroo. 

22. I can't roll my 'r's'. 

23. Every winter, I realize that I'm not cut out for snow. It's too cold. 

24. By the time I was six years old, I could use chopsticks. 

25. Apparently, I'm kinda weird and I'm okay with that. 

26. I have 4 siblings and 16 cousins. Out of ALL of them, I'm the oldest. 

27. I'm really content with my life. 

28. I'm easy to make happy. 

29. If I'm going to go see a movie, I like arriving on time so I can watch the previews. 

30. When I'm by myself, I sing really loud. 

Day 05

Day 05 - A time you thought about ending your life.

I've had low points in my life. Everyone has. But, despite my trials, I can honestly say that I've never seriously considered ending it all. Often times, I've wondered why I'm here, or why I have to be here, but removing myself from this Earth was the last option to cross my mind. For me, it was all about running away. My flight reaction would begin to kick in when things got truly terrible. If I hit rock bottom, and sometimes I think I've done it more often than I'd like, my first desire is to just let go of everything and start over somewhere new.

The last time I thought about running away wasn't very long ago. Just a few weeks, actually. All of my stress just happened to collide at once, and when that happens, implosion is bound to occur. When I have problems, I need to solve them. I can't sit and whine about them and just hope that they'll solve themselves. I'm the kind of girl that needs to fix something when it breaks, or look for ways to be progressive. Being helpless is not my thing. But, every once in a while, I get too tired because I have too much on my plate, or I just can't fix everything that I want to. That's when I start to think, if I were to head out to the east coast, I wouldn't have to deal with any of this anymore. I could start a new life, and get it right this time around.

I'm lucky enough to be able to very quickly realize how silly that is. I know full well that running away doesn't actually solve my problems. They'll still exist, and my departure becomes a problem for multiple people. I'm not trying to sound conceited, I promise, but I know that I'm needed by others. Checking out of the life I've made is really unlike me. If I'm going to "run away", it's not going to be because I'm tired of life, it's going to be because I want to experience more of it.

There's always something or someone worth living for. Or, in my case, hanging around for. Be resilient. You're going to get hurt, it's going to suck, and it's going to happen more than once, but it's not the end of the road. Don't be defined by your pain, be defined by your strength and ability to overcome.

Day 04

Day 04 - Your thoughts on religion.

Since we're getting personal with each other here, you should know that I was raised as a Catholic. I was baptized as a baby, completed my communion during my adolescence, and then got confirmed when I was in high school. Up until my confirmation, I was involved in the church and all it had to offer. On Sundays, I went to mass, and throughout the week I'd attend various youth group nights and activities. But, none of it was truly for me or because I wanted to walk in the footsteps of God. It was for my family, most of whom are devoted Catholics themselves. Both my mother and my grandmother were very influential in my young, religious life, so every step I took in the church was prompted by them. Confirmation is a choice, and I chose it after a lot of arguing.

I went through all the procedures as gracefully as I could, but in high school, I learned that I didn't want to place myself under any denomination. I'm not going to worship because I felt forced to, and I'm not going to devote myself and live by a word that I don't fully believe in or agree with. Now, this doesn't go to say that I chastise any religion and think it's horrible. In fact, I feel the complete opposite. Just because I don't align myself with a particular set of beliefs, doesn't mean that I don't respect someone else's.

If my friends ask me to come to church with them, I'm going to be there to support them. If someone I'm riding in the car with wants to listen to The Fish, I'm down for that. I've gained a lot of wisdom from Buddhism and Hinduism.

Religion should promote and bring out the best in people. It shouldn't prompt us to harbor darkness or hate in our hearts toward anyone or anything. Religion shouldn't make you better than anyone, it should make you a better human being.

Day 03

Day 03 - Your view on drugs and alcohol. 

If anyone saw the eight random facts about myself on my Facebook from way back when, then my bullet about trying everything once doesn't exactly apply to this topic. Unless it is a drug prescribed to me by my doctor, then I'm not so down to experiment or be haphazard. I've broken bones on several occasions and been to the ER or Urgent Care more than I like, and been given or prescribed Vicodin and/or morphine. Let me tell you.. I'm extremely susceptible to both. If I get loopy and weirder off of substances that were professionally handled, I'm scared to see how I'd react to other, stronger substances that might be less clean. I can only picture a complete wreck. Not to mention, drugs are bad guys! It can ruin your life! Cool people don't do drugs. Don't give in to peer pressure! Stay in school! Srsly! Yada, yada. Caught on to all those elementary school phrases yet?

Drugs are out there, and people do them all the time. In our society, it's hard to avoid or be naive to substance usage and abuse. Even in the nicest of areas, drugs can be prevalent. Even the nicest of people can be alcoholics. It's better to be educated and responsible with drugs and alcohol than it is to be careless. For example, if you're going to go out and drink, take measures before hand to ensure you're being smart throughout the night. Have a friend keep an eye on you, drink lots of water, make sure you've eaten, don't consume drinks handed to you by strangers, call for a cab or a friend to come pick you up -- anything to keep yourself and others safe. There's nothing wrong with having a good time, but actions will always have consequences. Making poor choices with drugs and alcohol will have negative repercussions.

But, I don't need to be telling you guys this, right?! We're all smart adults here. We're lucky enough to be allowed to control our own lives, so don't waste it by being irresponsible.

Kisses, love and all that junk

-Aylin

Day 02

Day 02 - Where you'd like to be in 10 years. 

Initially, when I think about the future, it's easy to say that I have no stinkin' clue how things will be. Sometimes, I have no idea what I'm even going to be doing next week. The nature of my twenty-something years has always been ever changing, and because of this, I find it really hard to plan that far ahead. Thankfully, this isn't about knowing. Whew. 

In ten years, I'd really love to still be happy with my life. Now, I know that might not sound as grand as living in a beautiful, ginormous house and having lots of money, but happiness is solely I want out of any and all of my years. Material items and wealth can be nice, but I know I won't be thinking about those things when I'm old because I barely think about them right now. I'll be thinking about how I'd like to keep waking up in the morning still looking forward to my day. I'd like to still have friends that are good for me. I'd like to still be healthy, strong and able to take care of myself and others around me. Contributing to another's well being is really attractive to me. 

On a lighter note, because we're talking about things I like, you know what else is attractive? A nice television, video games and all the tea in the world. I'm a girl, and a gamer. I mean, how cool would it be to come over to my house and play Guild Wars 7 on my 60'' television whilst sipping on jasmine green like a sir? I'll toss in marriage and cool children, because what girl doesn't secretly love planning her wedding and coming up with names for all her offspring at least once in her life? I know I do have. Plus, I love kids. And white dresses. 

For all this to happen though, the world has to retain at least some semblance of sanity, so I should add that to my list. I would like to be in a sane (and, hopefully better) world. I'd prefer there to not be a zombie apocalypse, for example. I know I'm supposed to be talking about where I'd like to be, but these plans would totally fail if I was holed up in a Walmart in a world where my friends could potentially eat my face off. That would just ruin my day. 

Kisses, love and all that junk

-Aylin

Day 01

Your current relationship. If single, discuss how single life is.

I don't know if I should give a disclaimer or anything, but I'm going to be completely candid without divulging anything that may cross the line. I'm not trying to be sappy, I'm trying to be honest so I can reflect upon my relationship as a whole and not just how things are going at this particular moment. He knows who he is, and if he happens to see it - great! I have nothing to hide, but when it comes to this aspect of my life, it's not something I'm usually fully prepared to talk about. I love that I'm in love, I love that I have someone that loves me! Sadly, I rarely get to talk fully about my relationship, so this may be a long, rough post. 

Yes! Aylin has a boyfriend!

My relationship is teaching me a lot about what it really means to love another person and about life, in general. Being with him has changed me, no doubt. Prior to meeting him, and maybe even a little bit still now, I was/am fiercely independent. In my high school and early college years, I'd never managed to get myself into a serious commitment with anyone. The reasons behind this is another story for another time, but basically, after so long of being alone, I'd scrapped being the damsel just waiting for a guy. Instead, I decided that if no one was going to love me, then I'd support myself and depend on myself. As time passed, I became more adamant about not needing anyone else to provide me happiness. My pride and favorite attribute was my strength and ability to be self sufficient, and even now, it still is. Just to a different extent. 

I knew I'd have him in my life in some way, shape or form when I first saw him. I will forever brag and be proud to say that I called dibs on him when I laid eyes on him. Yes, I think he's gorgeous and I'm physically attracted to him, but I had an additional sense that he'd be playing a part in my life. 

Woman's intuition, maybe? 

He didn't know it at first. It took him longer to figure it out, but I'd say it was definitely worth the wait and the ups and downs. He's my best friend. My partner. He makes up my happiest memories, has been the center of my favorite dreams, and the person I want to have by my side through each stage of my life. I want him to be a part of my future. Sure, needing someone sounds nice, but to me, wanting someone is on a different level. I choose to have him despite the fact that there are over two-freaking-thousand miles between us. (That's right, long distance relationship, baby.) If it were to ever end between us, I know I would survive, but when I'm with him, it's like living on a whole new level for me. I've learned to cherish the little things and never take a moment for granted. The mundane with him has become extraordinary to me. Vibrant, is also a good way to describe it, but it still does so little justice to describe my world since he's been in it. 

I'm more of everything now. 

Happier, excited, electrified, anxious, obnoxious, confused, confident, brave, afraid, angry, sad -- all of it. I feel all of these intense emotions because of him, and half the time it's still out of my norm. Being so far apart and not having his closeness for months at a time makes me feel both strong and completely devastated. He's my greatest pleasure, and my worst pain. But that's completely okay, because both of those feelings mean that I'm more alive than I ever have been. And I want to keep feeling those things because, to me, it means that I have something great. From thousands of miles away, he contributes to me. I haven't lost anything because of him, I've gained. I've become someone I'm even more proud of. 

Now, now. I don't just love him because of what he's done to and for me. I was lucky enough to nab a cute boy with a personality. He's smart, he's a hard worker, he plays video games AND watches anime (way more than me, I might add), he's supportive, creative, interested -- despite what he may think, he's amazing. There's been no time where he's tried to change me, or gotten upset because of some habit I have. Everyone in the world is a little weird, and he accepts my weirdness. He also accepts all my flaws, and is there for me when I'm feeling insecure or out of myself (he even tries if he's playing video games!). If there's a problem I can't work through, he just listens and that works for me. I'm not often listened to, so I need it more than I think. 

My relationship is both the greatest and hardest part of my life, but I've been smitten by the same man for nearly three years.

So, there you go, people on the internet.

Kisses, love and all that junk. 

- Aylin

Jumping In

What better way to start off a blog and get in the habit of sticking to it, than with a 30 day challenge? 

During the next thirty days (and beyond - hopefully), and if you're actually reading, you'll be learning about who I am and what it is I do with all the weird and amazing facets of my life. For now, my introduction is short and simple, and can be read in the description on the right side of this page. I'm Aylin; a maid loving, boba drinking, video gaming, anime enthusiast. But, like any other human being on this earth, I have lots of thoughts and feelings I'd like to put out there. Unfortunately, being an introvert makes that harder to do in the moment, so I'm taking to my keyboard and using this blog as a way to share myself and sort my crazy life out.

Kisses, love and all that junk.